Do you remember when you were just a puppy, or some other species of young animal; say a 2 or 3  year old toddler.  If you don't remember those days, watch a few puppies as they play together; and witness their enthusiasm and excitement as they make a game out of commonplace everyday situations.  Watch the 2 and 3 year old children employ imagination. and find fascination in their discovery of new words and ideas. They wonder a lot, say "why?" a lot, are curious, inquisitive, rambunctious and admittedly sometimes destructive.  What they don't know, they make up for in enthusiasm. Many dogs keep this energy and engagement with their environment up for many years.  Your dog still gets excited if you mention "walk" or "ball".  Put the same old food in the bowl that she's had for the last ten years and she'll often act as if she's sitting down to a medium rare porterhouse right off the grill. A dog gets up from a night's sleep, and it seems like she's starting life all over again in a brand new world. She still bounds to the door when you come home and greets you with ....with.....with ENTHUSIASM!  Humans, it seems, lose their openness and engagement with the world as they grow older.  They seem to suffer from curbed enthusiasm.  We dogs are concerned.  In the absence of other dogs, we're dependent on your vitality and playfulness for our exercise and enjoyment.  You humans work too much, and remember too much.  You  often act so old and world weary; even while you're still young pups!

Outside!  Outside!  The master said I should go outside.  (Runs around in circles, chases tail and barks.)  What could this mean ? Is it a walk?  Is there a rabbit? "Do your job, Buffy!, I have to go to work! "  Oh boy, do my job!  Do my job!
I scan the yard for just the right place to urinate.  Then I'm ready to go.  What's next?  Let's play!  "In the house Buffy, I have to go to work."

If you let it, life experience has a way of slowly siphoning away the earnestness and enthusiasm that a young animal starts his or her existence with.  Maybe it's the pull of gravity that sucks away some invisible ether of excitation from the developing animal's brain, leaving them bored and blase'. Perhaps the brain gets grooves and ruts in it, as it follows the same old neuronal pathways day in and day out.  Patterns of thought and mental pictures are stored and cataloged in the cranial cache, then retrieved without any intervening thought, whenever the already made up mind is presented with a new situation.  When the brain forms all of these pathways, these ruts, nothing is ever new again; the eyes see but the brain doesn't register anything, as it already knows what it's going to say about any situation or conversation that presents itself.  Conditioning kills enthusiasm.   It's a knife through its heart. We dogs try hard to goad you into a full day of playing ball, of chasing squirrels, of finding fascination in the magnificent odors emanating from the base of the fire hydrant.  But all we get is a tug on the leash, and a "lets go, we have to get home". Oh good, your dog thinks. Looks like another 4 hours of watching TV is on today's agenda. Probably the same old shows too!

Dogs love young children, because they are like us in a lot of ways .  Young people still find enjoyment in chasing bubbles and  playing frisbee, in games of hide and go seek, and Candyland! We love our adult masters too, but are often saddened by the toll that tasks and toil take from your souls. Adults need to reboot their systems every year or two. Be a method actor in the world and take on different roles and guises. Research your role thoroughly. Make it a game, and forget everything you've been taught. Forget the insults of the world and  find for yourself what makes other people's ideas interesting. Do it all with a little enthusiasm!  you could even imagine yourself a dog sometime.......

Wait......

 I hear the master at the door,  he's coming HOME,  my hearts racing, I have to help him open the door, it must be too heavy, a nudge from my nose will help.  HE'S HOME!  Wait, there's MOMMY, AND KURT AND KARI.  The whole family is  home! I haven't seen them since they left for the grocery store an hour ago!  It's a Celebration!  Good times! Gotta GO! Party On! See Ya!

Buffy
Uncurbed Enthusiasm

It's recently been revealed to me that I can relax, I'm in, I've made the team.  I saw a documentary film that says All Dogs Go To Heaven.  You don't know what a relief it is to have this edict encoded on DVD, which makes it about as official as one can get these days.  I've been wondering how this new revelation will affect my future behavior.  Will I become a hedonist, knowing that whatever I do in the here and now won't affect my eternal happiness and bliss.  Should I start chewing on the furniture, raiding the refrigerator, and running away when my master calls?  That kind of behavior might get me to heaven even faster.  Like I said, I'm only entertaining these options while I get used to the good news.  It's like I won the lottery, but I haven't gotten paid yet.  Best to lie low for awhile?

Heaven, I've heard, is a place of repose, bliss, supreme happiness, material comfort , union with one's God or gods, love, angels, great climate, green pastures and the absence of suffering.  And great food, don't forget the food.
Some say that heaven is a real place, others say that it's a plane of existence, spiritual.  There are a number of different levels and rooms in heaven to visit, once you get through heaven's gate.  Seventh Heaven sounds like it will be my favorite; therein lies the Throne of Glory, and reside the Seraphim and Cherubim.  The music is heavenly there, I've heard.  I wonder if you can choose your version of heaven when you reach the pearly gates?  Some religions believe the after life will allow the fulfillment of earthly desires without any of the negative effects. Others predict that the entrant will be united with the Supreme Being who created all things, and will merge with her Love which "moves the sun and the other stars"  I wonder if you can visit each of these paradises and sample them, before you make a final decision?

Heaven knows what heaven is really like.  Some humans claim to have visited a place of peace and light during near death experiences.  This might be a vision of heaven, but then again, the brain can create its own reality when deprived of oxygen.  How much should I worry about heaven and the afterlife, given the fact that I'm currently employed on this earthly plane?  Humans talk about the wonders of heaven, but no one seems to be in a hurry to go there.  The sublime qualities attributed to heaven; green pastures, repose, love, communion, material comforts, and light are all available here on earth.  There's suffering and darkness here too, I know.  I guess if I was born in heaven, and never experienced earth, I wouldn't know that heaven is as heavenly as it is.  For now, I'm going to put that All Dogs Go To Heaven idea in my back pocket (so to speak) and try to find as much heaven as I can right here in this world. A good lunch will go a long way towards accomplishing this goal. I'll continue trying to be a good dog, and try to create the conditions so that other dogs and humans can experience a glimpse of heaven in the here and now.  We dogs are here to help our humans find love and communion, and to avoid and abate suffering.  We'll be your guide dogs on the Stairway to Heaven. Bring along a few biscuits, we're hoping it will be a long journey.

Buffy
Seeking Seventh Heaven

 

Dogs see the world through eyes that differ from those of humans in their  ability to detect detail, in depth perception, color reception, and the ability to detect movement. We are adapted for night hunting. We have more rods on our retina which increase our ability to see at night and detect movement.  Because of this we sacrifice space for cones that can detect color. We are red-green color blind, and see a brighter, less detailed world.  The evolution of these physical aspects allowed for our survival in different niches. Wolves hunt at night and don't need color vision as much as they need the ability to detect motion, and see in dim light.  Early humans used their color vision to determine the ripeness of fruits, and the greenness of leaves.  Our brains see different worlds based on our physiology.  If dogs could talk, and a human and a dog were asked to write a story about the same landscape or scene, the descriptions that the two species would portray would  vary in many aspects.  No doubt there would be arguments about what is really in front of us, as reality is what we see and what we make of what we see. If we don't see the same things or interpret things differently, conflict often ensues.

Humans of all races, ethnicities and nationalities; of all religions and political affiliations, presumably possess the same basic physico-mechanical organs to see the world.  The eyes present the brain of all men with a similar quality picture, especially after correction with glasses or contacts.  Still, when it comes to worldviews, what different human individuals describe as patterns of reality, it seems like there are radically different pictures reaching the processing areas of the brain.  Brains look alike anatomically, but apparently the conditioning that the brain has received through its indoctrination and experience in its culture, distorts the information that the eye presents and shapes it in a way that fits into the prevailing pattern of the organism's so called reality.  What is reality really? Its really hard to see. It's colored by our individual life experience. It's a sum total of every beings perception, but transcends all of that. 

Science has done a wonderful job of describing the physical processes that determine what we see when we look out the window, or look into another person's (or dog's) eyes.  What goes on after that neuronal impulse leaves the retina and gets lost in the processes of the mind  is another story.  Social science and integral psychology tries to sort and categorize the different ways that brains and minds deal with the information presented to them.  Spiral Dynamics is an approach that describes these worldviews, and what they may mean in terms of personal and societal development now and in the future.  A ladder of development is proffered that describes the evolution of civilization, and the individuals that move it;  from the basic survival mode of early man  to the holistic, ,universal care of the higher reaches of mind.  A spectrum of colors is used to describe the various stages that this mindmap encompasses. Are you green today, or orange?  Do you look through red eyes or blue when you process the landscape, or read the newspaper?  The color of your perception may depend on the day, or the circumstance. It's only a desciption, and not reality.  What is?

We dogs are lucky to have humans take care of many of our basic needs, so we have lately begun to wonder about our own place in the spectrum of consciousness.  Only after our survival requirements are met can we begin to develop care and concern for our pack, and then for our neighborhood, our cities, our states, our country, our world.  Often in just that order. We hope that humans can climb the ladder of personal and collective development and are able to see,  process and appreciate  all of the colors that the eyes  transmit, and come to some agreement on how a vibrant, colorful society can prosper. We dogs are counting on you to lay the foundation for our continued development as a species.  Colour our world with hope, in loving you.

Buffy
Kodachrome Canine

There's an epidemic of obesity in the dog community. This includes the fidos in my subdivision,  Wind Meadows.  It's led us to arrange our first Biggest Loser contest, with yours truly, Buffy, as the inspiring, exceedingly buff , sixpack toting trainer.  We have 5 dogs that have committed to the fasting and exercise regimen that I have devised.  We're waiting for a sixth contestant, Hamlet the Hounddog to decide whether he'll subject his unhoned, untoned body to the many tortures that I have planned; for his own good of course. I went over to his house to get his final answer, and I caught him in the middle of a reverie, talking to himself and obviously in anguish about his upcoming decision.  Hamlet loves his food, but knows he should follow my plan, and fast and exercise ; for his health's sake.  To complicate matters, his neighbor was cooking a huge slab of meat on the grill nearby, and the smoke wafted its way towards his receptive nostrils. I stood by behind a tree and listened:

To eat or not to eat- that is the question
Whether tis healthier for the body to endure
The ups and downs of unwanted tonnage
Or to employ fasting against an ocean of calories
And by abstinence abate them.  To fast, to feast
No more. And by a fast to say we quell
The hunger , and the constant pangs and gurglings
That the stomach produces. Tis a constipation
Devoutly to be wished.  To diet, to fast,
To become thin, is it a dream? Aye, where's the grub?
For in that damned diet what little weight we lose when we
Have alighted so gently on lying scale
Must give us pause. There's the catch
That makes inanity of spurned feasting
For who would bear the running and the cycling,
The trainer's stair stepper, the thin model's haughtiness
The famished fatigue, the unresponsive lovehandles
The pity of the svelte, and the snickers
That fasters who fail meet
When he might see his best self flower
With daily duly exercised will power?  Who would dare to bear
The grunts and sweating of a weight loser's life
And feel the yoke of hunger and famish.
The depressed mood that the fasting brings
Confuses the cognition, and cowards us still
And makes us rather endure the shape that we have now
Than fast and earn results we know not of.
Thus damned hunger makes future failures of us all
And so the resolution to stop nourishment
Is reconsidered in the light of study,
And great plans and strong considerations
In this vein lose their reign in the heart
And result in my action- Eat Right Now!
Oh wondrous steak, in thy tastiness
Be all my dreams engendered!

Hamlet decided not to participate in our contest.  After witnessing his indecision and subsequent failure at the art of impulse control, I devised a new more moderate regime of portion control, walking, and games that require moderate exertion, but are fun and enjoyable.  I know I won't get on TV with this scaled back plan for a sustainable, healthy lifestyle.  I'm happy just to help my friend Hamlet feel like he's a success. He doesn't have to be The Biggest Loser to be a winner.

Buffy
Fitness Guru For the Canine Crowd

 

Ever since I was part of the brood, and just a few months old, I've celebrated my individuality, my particular personality, my talents and my tendencies; my Agency. I tried out different strategies in my search for a place at the food bowl, found out what individual maneuvers I could use to get the most care from my mom. My Agency is the identifying talents, viewpoints and actions that I bring to the table in my role as a dog, as a part of the pack, as an organism struggling to exist on the earth. My Agency is provocative, it has a spin, a bent.  In its purest form, my Agency is what I would do if other animals and their considerations didn't exist. Unbridled ego in pursuit of passion and pleasure, with a little of the old ultraviolence.  Buffy Bond 007 at your service.

 If I could be like a human for a day, and wanted to live large, and pursue the limits of my imagination; I'd be Buffy Bond 007, licensed to bite. On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Very secret.  I only know that the cause is just and the means will be..........well, somewhat unorthodox.  I might have to take out a few bad guys, but there will be no doubt that they are bad guys(or gals).  I would employ my Agency in the service of the many, but do it my way, unrestrained and independent.   James Bond, Matt Helm, Jason Bourne, The Man From Uncle and Jack Bauer.  They were all Agents; loners, independent and sometimes reckless. We love to watch them because they can dispatch villains without the need for judges and juries, without the need for social considerations.  Everything they do turns out right because that's the way the scriptwriter pens it.  I wish it was that way in the dog world.  It would be great if I could use my Agency and take out the cats that threaten my comfort, or the other dogs that try to chew on my chow.  My Agency at its purest, if it's not limited in some way, has no morality, is completely selfish, is like a shark; mindless, seeking only self gratification.  Ummm, maybe that wouldn't be so great after all.  Licensed to kill, without any allegiance except to myself, sounds like the makings of a mad dog.  What would my master think, what would the other dogs think, who would aid me if I got in a jam, who would invent all of my gadgets. My Agency needs a leash, a tether, a collar. It's the presence of the other that provides that yoke, that anchor. It weighs me down at times, it's annoying, it takes the I away from me and makes me consider my actions in light of other's reaction.  Agency and Communion are competing interests within; my Brain battling my Heart, it's a doggon' dilemma that confuses my cognition at times.

A dog has a limited slate of such dilemmas to deal with in deciding when to use her Agency, and when to follow the crowd.  We're pretty happy when we get to lead the walk once in awhile, or get a response when we bark to go outside or need food or water.  Our ancestors the wolves were more the Secret Agent types, especially the less social Lone Wolves.  Humans have many more competing influences that demand the discriminate use of Agency, and the weighing of the interests of the one and the many.  Even James Bond fell in love at times, gave into the need for communion with society. There are different types of animals out there.  Some are more inclined to be Agents, others are willing to lose there identities in communion. I guess this dog is a Secret Agent only in my daydreams.  Bond never got to sit at home and feel the warmth of the hearth, he was always looking for the next bit of excitement.   He could never trust his friends, for they often turned out to be the enemy.  I guess Secret Agency might not be as glamorous as it looks. Does anyone have a milkbone I can gnaw on in front of the fire?

Buffy Bond
Licensed Dog (Village of Wind Point)

Working like a dog!  An idiom that may not invoke the same mental picture that it did in olden days.  Most people nowadays will think of their family pet, and how their dog seems to have the idyllic, sleepy ,daydreamin',  hedonistic lifestyle. I can't argue with the fact that dogs in the here and now do more sleeping like a log than working like a dog.  If you humans could arrange such a gig, many of you would do the same thing.  Don't forget that we dogs are doing a lot of mental heavy lifting even though we appear to be doggin it. 

Dogs are indefatigable workers when pressed into service for their masters.  Think about ranch dogs, border collies, guide dogs, hearing dogs, therapy dogs, watchdogs, military dogs,rescue dogs and police dogs.  Some breeds are employed more than others due to their strength, size and intelligence.  Certain dogs have a distinct, bred-in high energy level that must be considered if these dogs are adopted as pets.  I wonder if humans might have a similar built in work ethic and energy that comes along as part of their genetic makeup?

Workin' like a dog!  Humans are often conflicted in how they respond to the need to till the field, mind the herd, take care of the sick, tend to their business, and do all of the other "work" that living life requires.  For some, a "work ethic" is deeply ingrained in their nature; as a result of the principles that their family promoted, the environment of culture, education and religion that surrounded them, and perhaps as a result of their genetic constitution.  Others believe that work is a necessary evil, instead of a character building necessity.  They believe in working "smart" instead of working hard.  There's mental work and physical work, and work that is passion and work that is drudgery.  Working for yourself is a different experience than working for a huge corporation. Whatever work we choose, we hope it works for us and our families. 

Dogs aren't in charge of society at this time, and we don't have great intelligence like humans.  Dogs worked hard in the past, and many still do, but they don't get to choose what work they do, or think about exploitation and pay rates, moral benefit and character building, or the relative contributions of the various dog breeds to societies welfare.  Intelligent people seem to seek out work that is also mental "play", that stimulates them and provides them with sustenance.  Intelligence can also cause ambivalence when the work that people choose to do is unavailable, or doesn't pay at a subsistence level, or isn't valued by society.

Hedonism is a philosophy that seeks pleasure as the ultimate good.  Dogs believe in this principle, but realize that one dog's pleasure is another dog's pain.  Some dogs have an energy level and alertness that makes what appears to be "work" a necessary part of their daily activities.  They get pleasure from the mental discipline, the physical exertion, and the satisfaction that these exercises provide them. For better or worse, dogs don't have the mental capacity to see the fairness or unfairness when one dog works harder than the other, otherwise there would be class warfare amongst us dogs!  Ignorance is sometimes bliss.

As a family pet, my work is to be the glue that binds my unit together.  When the kids come home, they want to see me; when the family is scattered, they think of me and picture the warmth of the home, me licking their face, me begging  (joining them) at the dinner table.  My life is a joyful one, even as I work at being the family pet.  I might look like a lazy old dog, but my work is never done.  I'm on alert 24-7, watching the perimeter.  Every day is a Hard Day's Night in the dog world, and I'm happily workin' like a dog.

Buffy
Bow-wow Beatle Fan

 

Dogs are not known to be savorers of their sustenance, as they often "wolf" down their food, and fail to appreciate the subtle flavors, the textural element, the originality and careful plating that makes for a fine dish.  For most of our history, we were limited to picking up table scraps that fell to the floor; often times only one element of the dish would drop off the table, and we would miss out on the mushroom sauce that went with the steak, or the mustard or catsup that should accompany the hot dog.  We dine, but often we don't dine well.  I'm launching an initiative to increase the appreciation for gourmet food in the canine community.  The Composition of Canine Cuisine will be the first course in my program.  I aim to become the Julia Child of the pooch set, and take Human cooking to the dogs.  A French Poodle "foodie" , I hope to write the definitive tome on the tastes and textures that delight domesticated dogs.

I have accumulated my culinary knowledge by watching my human mom at work in the kitchen, and by studying the superstar chefs at work on Iron Chef, Top Chef, Next Food Network Star, Throwdown With Bobby Flay, and Rachael Ray.  I consider myself a four legged barefoot contessa, and enjoy watching my human counterpart deconstruct a beef bourguignon. I hope she shares some with her dog.  Bobby Flay cooks with a lot of heat, so I have to watch what I eat when his cuisine I meet. I might need to add a little sweet. I like Michael Symon's hearty laugh. With fine food and a little wine there's usually good cheer to be found in a foodie's kitchen.  A person or a dog's' taste for food is very individual and subjective.  Foodies seek out new tastes, and are willing to test their taste buds and loosen their limitations. Foodies are often amateurs with pretensions of grandeur.  Minus the pretensions, we can just be grand.  It's a fine distinction to be sure.

Appreciation for the finer aspects of food preparation doesn't make any dog , or human better than his or her plain hot dog eating brethren.  Rather, it's a passion that some animals have for knowledge about food and culture, and for the complex tastes that can be mixed and matched to delight the palate. Haute cuisine shouldn't mean haughty.  Being a foodie is a club that any animal can join, she just has to have the inclination, the inspiration and work up a little perspiration - and then have great fresh ingredients. We dogs have only one sixth the taste buds of you humans, but we make it up with a much more sensitive sense of smell.  Imagine the torture that your beloved dog undergoes when she watches all of these TV shows with you, smells the heavenly scents in your kitchen, and then gets a bowl of Purina, sans the wine reduction sauce with the splendid aroma you just created. There's a new vanguard of cute culinary canines coming to your kitchen.  Make an extra portion, will you?

Buffy
First Food Network Dog?

 

I've always been interested in making the acquaintance of  the human, Tom Hanks.  He's always seemed like the type of human animal that a dog could have a friendship with.  He's bright, affable and could possibly get me into the movie business.  Even though I'm the equivalent of 77 human years old, I still am hoping for a breakout role.  Lindsay Lohan is in jail, perhaps I could take on the roles she was planning to play.  Paris Hilton's parts should be up for grabs too!  I know I'm not young and beautiful like these girls, but I'm no dog!

Tom Hanks played Scott Turner in the movie "Turner and Hooch."  The Hooch role was played by Beasley, a Dogue de Bordeaux. These rare dogs have a French heritage and were bred in the 1500's for their fighting ability.  Hooch was not well suited to domestic life with Turner, and the two had a rocky relationship as Hooch nearly destroyed Turner's home and car.  In the end though, all was well, and I believe Hanks still likes dogs, at a distance at least.

Many people aren't aware that there was a proposed sequel to "Turner and Hooch".  It was titled " Turner and Hooch Chase Hooch Along the Hooch For Illegal Possession of Hooch in a Hooch."  Some thought that the title was too unwieldy.  The plot involved Hooch (the dog)  chasing hooch ( a young lady of ill repute, perhaps a Lindsay or Paris role here) along the Hooch (Chattahoochie River- shades of Deliverance) as she fled a warrant for illegal possession of hooch (marijuana, or moonshine alcohol, depending on the time period) in her hooch. (she must have been raised by a Vietnam War vet who called his hut a hooch.) Perhaps you can see why this movie never got off the ground, but it was not the fault of the pooch, Hooch.

As a dog, I find the use of the same word in so many different contexts, and with so many different meanings, to be confusing as I attempt to master English and speak in grammatically correct sentences.  I guess you could argue that we dogs use "Ruff" and "Arff"  as slang for many of our multisyllabic intonations, but remember , we have limited linguistic abilities.  "Multisyllabic" doesn't roll off our tongues. Oh sorry, I have to run.  My owner says he's going to go out and get some "Hooch". I sure hope he's going to Blockbuster!

Buffy
Pooch Fan of Hooch