No More Steak Bones?
As an emotionally attuned dog, I was aware the other day of a tension in the air emanating from my master, James. He was sitting at the kitchen table sighing and moaning, and my empathy antenna was up as I monitored his emotional health; nudging his elbow as he tried to write, trying to soothe his unusual upset. Then he said a number of uncharacteristic words of a biological and potentially ontological nature about taxes and government and money and such things. There was some reference to April 15th and how it could kiss his posterior, a reference I didn't get at all. I later heard him and my Mommy master talking, and understood that a large amount of money had been sent to the IRS, which is apparently not a favorite charity. Scatological references were again employed and I felt like joining in since I was made to understand that the dog chow would not be premium for a few months, and there would likely be few steak bones. Apparently the government took all of my family's money, and I felt like going out into the neighborhood and see if I could find the robber scofflaws and show them a little dog justice. My Mommy master must have noticed that I was nervous and came over and calmed my jitters; telling me that all was well; she really didn't mean it about there being no money for dog food, and that life would go on and the government wouldn't be taking over doggycare or forcing me to change vets. Not yet anyway? They explained that the government does some things well, it's just that no one ever wants to pay taxes. It's just a fact of life, they said. Death and taxes?
As a dog I never really thought about why "big" government was such a "big" deal. Seems like I lived 8 years from 1999-2007 and never heard anything about deficits and government being too big. I never heard about dog houses not selling, or about stock market crashes. Then all of a sudden, when the bottom falls out and you need someone to blame it on, I guess you blame it on "big" government, whatever that is. (Or you blame it on the dog). They were supposed to protect us, or they weren't, they weren't big enough, or were too big, or something like that. What is a "big" government? I assume it's smaller than gargantuan or enormous or monstrous. It's probably larger than tiny government or minuscule government. I don't suppose it's ever just right. I heard about tea parties and wondered if the type of refreshments served depend on the type of government we are aiming for. If conservative parties have tea, liberal parties protesting governments that aren't big enough must serve beer and alcohol, since these people are so intemperate, I hear. Coffee parties could be used to protest insufficient tax breaks for proposed neighborhood Starbucks stores which are the bellwether of economic activity these days. Tall, Grande or Venti. Which one would be " big "enough I wonder. Parties that are big on minuscule government would probably serve Dom Perignon champagne, since these people must all be in the top tax brackets and don't need the wealth redistribution government offers. Milk of Magnesia parties could be arranged for seniors living on a fixed income since they would support extra large government to keep the Social Security and Medicare coming. Those in support of humongous government might just serve water, since the government will have taken all of their discretionary income. Lemonade parties on huge plantations under lovely tents could be reinstituted if the government gets small enough and no longer upholds civil rights or minimum wages. Those that support no government at all probably won't have parties since they will have to live in fortresses with private security when there are no longer any police or military officers to protect the populace. Wine parties with French cheeses can be staged by those who celebrate government as just the right size because it works for them. Party on!
Whatever is served at these events, as a dog I'm a little worried about the size of government. If the government isn't big enough, no one will be checking on whether these liquids are palatable and safe. The people might have the dogs taste them first. If we don't fall over dead, its okay to drink I guess. If the government gets too big, I might die waiting in line for a cup of clean water; as the environmental controls will be so tight that the price of water will go through the roof, and public water handouts will be served by government employees trained by the DMV. Don't arrive too close to closing time,or you might die of thirst! Is the government too big? It depends on what the tense of "is" is. Your answer may change tomorrow, depending on who's in power.
Respectfully Submitted,
Buffy
As a dog I never really thought about why "big" government was such a "big" deal. Seems like I lived 8 years from 1999-2007 and never heard anything about deficits and government being too big. I never heard about dog houses not selling, or about stock market crashes. Then all of a sudden, when the bottom falls out and you need someone to blame it on, I guess you blame it on "big" government, whatever that is. (Or you blame it on the dog). They were supposed to protect us, or they weren't, they weren't big enough, or were too big, or something like that. What is a "big" government? I assume it's smaller than gargantuan or enormous or monstrous. It's probably larger than tiny government or minuscule government. I don't suppose it's ever just right. I heard about tea parties and wondered if the type of refreshments served depend on the type of government we are aiming for. If conservative parties have tea, liberal parties protesting governments that aren't big enough must serve beer and alcohol, since these people are so intemperate, I hear. Coffee parties could be used to protest insufficient tax breaks for proposed neighborhood Starbucks stores which are the bellwether of economic activity these days. Tall, Grande or Venti. Which one would be " big "enough I wonder. Parties that are big on minuscule government would probably serve Dom Perignon champagne, since these people must all be in the top tax brackets and don't need the wealth redistribution government offers. Milk of Magnesia parties could be arranged for seniors living on a fixed income since they would support extra large government to keep the Social Security and Medicare coming. Those in support of humongous government might just serve water, since the government will have taken all of their discretionary income. Lemonade parties on huge plantations under lovely tents could be reinstituted if the government gets small enough and no longer upholds civil rights or minimum wages. Those that support no government at all probably won't have parties since they will have to live in fortresses with private security when there are no longer any police or military officers to protect the populace. Wine parties with French cheeses can be staged by those who celebrate government as just the right size because it works for them. Party on!
Whatever is served at these events, as a dog I'm a little worried about the size of government. If the government isn't big enough, no one will be checking on whether these liquids are palatable and safe. The people might have the dogs taste them first. If we don't fall over dead, its okay to drink I guess. If the government gets too big, I might die waiting in line for a cup of clean water; as the environmental controls will be so tight that the price of water will go through the roof, and public water handouts will be served by government employees trained by the DMV. Don't arrive too close to closing time,or you might die of thirst! Is the government too big? It depends on what the tense of "is" is. Your answer may change tomorrow, depending on who's in power.
Respectfully Submitted,
Buffy
Taxation Without representation
Taxation With Representation- But Not the Kind You Like
Madison Liberals- No Special Reason to Party Needed
Lemonade Anyone?
Wine and Cheese- It Works for Me
Which is Just Right?
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