I am often called  upon to do discreet inquiries of sordid goings on, like possible violations of my subdivision's architectural control policy, on behalf of my pater and mater humans. If there is the smell of danger in the air, my nose is out there on the scent of the possible perpetrator.  At times I will be called upon to ferret out just what other animals might have visited my backyard during the night, and whether their purpose was sinister.  When a stranger visits, the knock on the door stirs me to action.  I rush to the window to see just who might be visiting our domicile, and whether violent action might be necessary to defend the family unit.  Protecting the territory is a solemn duty every dog partakes in on behalf of his master.  When the human dinner is cooking (which I hope to share), I quiz myself to see if I can identify the ingredients by the chemical signature the aromas leave on my supersensitive olfactory lobes.  I can do Crime Scene Investigations and I don't even need a lab, it's all built in. If I had to work for a living, I'd like to be a private investigator dog. First, I need a proper nom de plume.  

Buffy Hammer?
Buffy McNally?
Barnaby Buffy?
Buffy Rockford?
Buffy Hammer?
Buffy Spade?
Horatio Buffy?

     Which name and personality is the best fit?  I love a good mystery.  Now where did my tail go?  I was chasing it earlier, and I can't seem to remember  where it went. Perhaps an assistant would be helpful in my new business. If you're willing, I could use a Watson to my Sherlock. Be prepared for danger, the Architectural Control Committee meets this Monday!

Buffy Holmes (Investigator Extraordinaire)