Scooby
A new dog moved into the neighborhood just recently, and he has made himself noticed in many ways. He's a Great Dane and his name is Scooby. His owner named him after the Great Dane, Scooby Doo. This dog of course has a different last name. His owner's last name is Swenson, so this dog's full name is Scooby Swenson. Scooby's owner is an English professor who attended the University of Wisconsin. He teaches Shakespeare at the University and has been a lifelong fan of the Wisconsin Badgers. Apparently Great Danes assimilate many different personas; possibly they're afflicted with multiple personalities. Whatever it is, this Great Dane is a delusional dog.
One day last week, I came upon Scooby Swenson, the Great Dane, down by Wind Meadows Pond. He was just sitting there, head in his paws, moaning about a state of rot of some sort. He seemed to be weighing a decision of some kind, as his head plopped down on one side and then the other, with constant sighing. I was loath to arouse him from his apparent state of melancholia, since he weighs about 5 times more than I do, but I finally got the gumption. He explained that he had found a whole steak back by his house's garbage, but that it could be rotten. He wasn't sure whether to eat it. I advised him on the possible consequences of bacterial contamination, but he countered with the power of the acidic dog stomach to deal with said germs. He vacillated about eating that steak for a good 2 hours, and his moans and sighs drew many stares from passersby. Finally he decided to act, and he did what he wanted to do. He ate the whole thing! When I asked him later how it was, he said it was a consummation devoutly to be wished? He finally quieted down and there was peace in our little hamlet that night.
Over the weekend, many of us dogs were playing a bit of dogball, which is a variation on human football. We have to tackle whoever has the nerf ball, and in this case we had to prevent the ball carrier from making it to the rose garden, which was about 50 yards away. You can imagine our reaction when Scooby said he wanted to play. He was going on and on about him being a Badger, and a Great Dane. Everytime he ran through us, leaving us bruised and battered on the grass, he'd strike a Heisman pose and say, "Go Badgers!" He'd shout out his own name in dogspeak...G..R..E..A..T D..A..Y..N..E ! He can't spell either.
Yesterday Scooby came around saying he was a direct descendant of Scooby Doo, and proposed that we form our own version of "Mystery Inc." and see if we could erase crime in the subdivision. He suggested getting some of the kids from the neighborhood to join in. He said that I could serve as official recorder of their exploits, and that I would share in any rewards the group might earn. As Scooby talked, his voice took on a whole new tone, and he began to sound like Astro from the Jetsons
or spookily, just like Scooby Doo. We were in the midst of making plans for a new mystery solving society when a group of kids came along and shouted for Scooby to come with them. He appeared to recognize them, as he said sorry, jumped up and ran to greet them. I wondered who they were, since I hadn't seen them in the neighborhood before. I followed them, walking quietly behind, and tried to catch their names. One boy was called Fred, and there was a Velma, A Daphne, and someone called Shaggy. My master called me as I was passing by my own home and I had to go in, so I never saw where the group went.
This morning I went to visit Scooby at his home. The place was empty, and a For Sale sign was out in front. I wondered what happened.
Later in the day I heard that the burglar that was terrorizing the neighborhood for the last couple months had been caught last night. Apparently a large dog had cornered him in his victim's yard, and kept him from fleeing until the police came. The dog ran off before anyone could identify him. It was dark, but the police said the dog was as big as a horse. I went home and popped in a Scooby Doo DVD and thought about Scooby Swenson. He had said that he was a direct descendant of Scooby Doo, could that be true? Scooby Swenson did have overly bowed legs, and a double chin, and a sloped back. He did sound just like Scooby Doo. I realize that I'm sounding delusional, there's no way that Scooby Swenson is actually Scooby Doo incognito. Or could it be that they are one and the same? Doo-be? Or not Doo-be? That is the question!
Buffy
Bard of Wind Meadows
One day last week, I came upon Scooby Swenson, the Great Dane, down by Wind Meadows Pond. He was just sitting there, head in his paws, moaning about a state of rot of some sort. He seemed to be weighing a decision of some kind, as his head plopped down on one side and then the other, with constant sighing. I was loath to arouse him from his apparent state of melancholia, since he weighs about 5 times more than I do, but I finally got the gumption. He explained that he had found a whole steak back by his house's garbage, but that it could be rotten. He wasn't sure whether to eat it. I advised him on the possible consequences of bacterial contamination, but he countered with the power of the acidic dog stomach to deal with said germs. He vacillated about eating that steak for a good 2 hours, and his moans and sighs drew many stares from passersby. Finally he decided to act, and he did what he wanted to do. He ate the whole thing! When I asked him later how it was, he said it was a consummation devoutly to be wished? He finally quieted down and there was peace in our little hamlet that night.
Over the weekend, many of us dogs were playing a bit of dogball, which is a variation on human football. We have to tackle whoever has the nerf ball, and in this case we had to prevent the ball carrier from making it to the rose garden, which was about 50 yards away. You can imagine our reaction when Scooby said he wanted to play. He was going on and on about him being a Badger, and a Great Dane. Everytime he ran through us, leaving us bruised and battered on the grass, he'd strike a Heisman pose and say, "Go Badgers!" He'd shout out his own name in dogspeak...G..R..E..A..T D..A..Y..N..E ! He can't spell either.
Yesterday Scooby came around saying he was a direct descendant of Scooby Doo, and proposed that we form our own version of "Mystery Inc." and see if we could erase crime in the subdivision. He suggested getting some of the kids from the neighborhood to join in. He said that I could serve as official recorder of their exploits, and that I would share in any rewards the group might earn. As Scooby talked, his voice took on a whole new tone, and he began to sound like Astro from the Jetsons
or spookily, just like Scooby Doo. We were in the midst of making plans for a new mystery solving society when a group of kids came along and shouted for Scooby to come with them. He appeared to recognize them, as he said sorry, jumped up and ran to greet them. I wondered who they were, since I hadn't seen them in the neighborhood before. I followed them, walking quietly behind, and tried to catch their names. One boy was called Fred, and there was a Velma, A Daphne, and someone called Shaggy. My master called me as I was passing by my own home and I had to go in, so I never saw where the group went.
This morning I went to visit Scooby at his home. The place was empty, and a For Sale sign was out in front. I wondered what happened.
Later in the day I heard that the burglar that was terrorizing the neighborhood for the last couple months had been caught last night. Apparently a large dog had cornered him in his victim's yard, and kept him from fleeing until the police came. The dog ran off before anyone could identify him. It was dark, but the police said the dog was as big as a horse. I went home and popped in a Scooby Doo DVD and thought about Scooby Swenson. He had said that he was a direct descendant of Scooby Doo, could that be true? Scooby Swenson did have overly bowed legs, and a double chin, and a sloped back. He did sound just like Scooby Doo. I realize that I'm sounding delusional, there's no way that Scooby Swenson is actually Scooby Doo incognito. Or could it be that they are one and the same? Doo-be? Or not Doo-be? That is the question!
Buffy
Bard of Wind Meadows
The Great Dayne
Ron Dayne- UW Badger Heisman Winner
The Melancholy Great Dane
Scooby Swenson
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